A smug asshole walks into a plane
by Atherys
Summary: At first Frisk was grateful and relieved when the voice in their head stopped telling them to fight people. If this is the alternative they sort of wish they could switch back. (it's literally just chara and frisk poking fun at each other while not-fighting the tsundereplane i don't know what more you want from me)
**AN:** again, narrachara, not genocidal demon chara. falls in the same 'verse as an earlier short oneshot of mine - the merits of mercy - but it isn't necessary to have read that one before reading this. this is literally just... fluff. (you don't have to read this as shippy. i'm not sure i do.)

enjoy!

* * *

Hotland is, unsurprisingly, hot. Frisk is… not a fan. They thought Snowdin had been bad, with how it made their feet so cold their toes felt like burning until they didn't feel like anything at all, but Hotland is _boiling_ , to the point where the air itself sort of… wobbles. They're a bit dizzy. They wish they'd brought something to drink.

It's okay, though. They're okay. Can't be much further, now.

A monster bumps into them and their SOUL is wrenched into battle. Frisk tightens their grip on the frying pan they're carrying - not because they want to _use_ it, but because it's still comforting, to hold onto something, and there's a tragic absence of hands to hold in the Underground.

They miss Toriel.

… but that's not the point right now. They turn their focus to the not-enemy. It looks… sort of like an airplane? Actually, it looks _exactly_ like an airplane. The airplane blushes and insists that it isn't into them at _all_. Half of Frisk does a double-take and wonders if maybe, just maybe, falling into the Underground also made them fall into a coma, because this is obviously some kind of really bizarre fever-dream.

The other half concludes that monsters are weird. They're not really sure why they even bother being surprised anymore.

 _Hey, Frisk,_ Chara says. Frisk perks up. It's the first thing they've said in a while.

 _Yeah?_

 _Know what this is?_

 _No,_ Frisk says, under a slowly rising feeling of hopeless dread because they know what's coming and they can't stop it, _What is it?_

 _It's a_ _ **Tsundereplane**_ , Chara says, and Frisk can _hear_ the shit-eating grin in their voice. It's been- actually they don't know for sure how long it's been, but probably longer than they deserve, of Chara making stupid puns at every possible opportunity.

If they could they'd give them the most deadpan stare they can muster (which, if they may say so themself, is a _very_ deadpan stare), but since Chara doesn't actually have a body of their own right now and there'd be nothing to stare _at_ , they just drop their head in their hands and groan loudly instead.

Chara giggles.

 _Could you just go back to asking me to fight everyone we meet instead?_ Frisk asks miserably.

Chara pretends to consider it. _If you ask me nicely,_ they say solemnly, _I might feel_ _ **chara**_ _table_ _enough to comply_.

 _You're an asshole and I hate you,_ Frisk tells them.

 _Sounds like someone's in denial,_ Chara sing-songs back. They're so smug. Frisk debates jumping off into the lava, but that sounds like a pretty painful way to go, so it wouldn't be worth it. Probably.

 _Whatever,_ they say instead. They have a fight to focus on. _Come on, what are my options here._

 _You should flirt with it,_ Chara says, with great conviction.

 _Really…?_ Frisk says tentatively, but as Chara's urging they bat their eyelashes and tell the - _ugh_ \- Tsundereplane that it has cute winglets, hoping that will make it less likely to want to fight them.

It does not work.

In fact, it does the exact opposite of work.

 _You are the_ _ **worst**_ _,_ they say, after having miraculously managed to dodge the Tsundereplane's attack, for once getting away without a scratch. _That was a terrible idea. Why would I do that? Why would you tell me to do that?_

Chara is laughing so hard Frisk can barely hear what they're actually saying. _**Worth it**_ _, oh my god. 'Your winglets are cute!' That was_ _ **amazing,**_ _Frisk. I'm going to cherish this memory_ _ **forever.**_

 _And_ _ **I**_ _am going to reset and start_ _ **all over**_ _again,_ Frisk says vehemently.

 _You wouldn't._ They're trying to sound flippant, but there's a sliver of apprehension that Frisk takes great joy in hearing.

 _I totally would,_ they lie. _How long do you think we'd be stuck in the ruins this time? As long as last run? Longer? This time it's been a while since I went through the leaf room, you know._

 _Okay, okay, I get it. I can't believe you_ _ **still**_ _don't have the route memorized. I swear, next time I'm doing it for you._

 _Only if I let you,_ Frisk reminds them. _Not going to do that if you keep being annoying._

 _Whatever,_ Chara huffs. Frisk gets the impression they're rolling their eyes. When they next speak, it's softer. _…still, you wouldn't._

 _I wouldn't,_ Frisk admits. They're more than a little sick of trudging through the first few areas of the Underground over and over, too. This time they're not turning back until they reach the very end. No resets. At least not for reasons this silly.

 _I knew it,_ Chara says, and then, _If you did you'd have to sit through all of Sans' puns again._

 _Rather his than yours._

 _ **Hey!**_

 _Serves you right,_ Frisk grins. The Tsundereplane bumps into them again. Apparently it doesn't take too kindly to being ignored. _Now really, what should I do?_

 _I dunno. Try to get closer?_

…' _kay._ Frisk obediently approaches the Tsundereplane. Cautiously.

 _Not too close,_ Chara warns.

 _Wasn't planning on it,_ Frisk mumbles, and SPAREs the - now blushing - monster, before turning to the path forwards again with a heavy sigh. Guess they'd better keep walking.

They don't particularly want to. The frying pan is heavy. Their legs feel like lead. The air is still so hot breathing makes their parched throat feel weird.

Maybe they could just… stay here for a while.

 _Don't stop,_ Chara tells them when they still haven't moved a minute later, uncharacteristically gentle. _You're almost there._

 _Really?_ Frisk says as they force themself to keep moving, failing at not sounding pathetically hopeful.

 _...no, not really,_ Chara admits. Frisk's shoulders slump. _There's still a bit to walk, especially if we can't take the elevator straight away… You really_ _ **are**_ _getting closer though._

It's not as encouraging as it should be. They're _tired._

 _I miss Waterfall,_ they grumble.

 _Do you really? From what I remember you spent half of it scared out of your mind._

 _But the other half,_ Frisk insists, _Was a wonderful, serene experience._

There's a wave of amusement from Chara in response.

 _You're getting better at dodging, you know,_ they offer after a short silence. When the shock of it makes Frisk stumble and nearly fall they quickly rectify their statement. _I mean, you're still shit. But not_ _ **as**_ _shit._

 _Was that a_ _ **compliment?**_ Frisk asks in absolute delight.

 _Don't let it get to your head._

 _I would_ _ **never**_ _,_ Frisk says, definitely letting it get to their head. They just got a _compliment_. From _Chara._ They must really be getting better!

Their legs don't feel nearly as heavy anymore.

 _For the record,_ they say, feigning thoughtfulness, _If either of us is tsundere it's_ _ **you**_ _._

Chara scoffs. _As if._

 _Oh yeah? 'I'm not helping you because I l-_ _ **like**_ _you or anything',_ Frisk says, imitating Chara's voice as best they can. _'You're getting better at dodging, Frisk, but it's not like that's a_ _ **compliment**_ _or anything!'_

 _I hate you so much._

 _Very convincing._ _ **Now**_ _who's in denial?_ Frisk replies, radiating smugness.

 _Shut up._

 _You_ _ **like**_ _me,_ Frisk chimes gleefully.

 _Shut_ _ **up.**_

Frisk does not shut up. Frisk stays just as annoyingly smug through nearly the entire remainder of Hotland. Their excitement is absolutely insufferable.

...and maybe a little bit endearing.

Not that Chara would ever be caught dead - _hah_ \- admitting it.


End file.
